Who, me?

And other things I say and do that get in the way of owning the fact I'm an artist — wielding true power as a creator

My substack is going by a new name. The one I believe is required in all creative acts.

Especially the creative act of living.

Because the creative act itself asks us to expose ourself and let ourselves be seen.

And that, for me, has never stopped being scary.

I for a long time wanted assurance whatever I said, did, even thought, would be approved by others before I could claim it as my own.

And I’ve got some *REALLY EXCITING NEWS* about some pivots I’m making and new things I’m offering in my business.

I’ve been steady working for the last 9 months on this redirection. I’ve been afraid it’s going to fail, I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and walk away, I’ve wanted to quit and go find a 9 to 5, return to the service industry and start pouring wine again, only to find myself saying out loud in the more acute moments of self doubt, “Really? You’re going to throw in the towel now? When you are so damn close? You’re going to give up on all your efforts to become the thing you’ve wanted to be more than anything else? What gives?”

Why is it so true the more honest we get about what we really want, the harder we try to talk ourselves out of it?

That damn ego is unrelenting in its desire to secure itself, and get it right.

I know this pattern so well, that downplays my true desire, that says, ‘‘you don’t actually know what you want, and besides, what you want isn’t possible.’’

pulling ‘the artist’ right before my first solo show in NYC, December, 2025

I’ve since done the impossible. And proven to myself I can in fact, make extraordinary works of art.

I’ve been studying the creative process more acutely since—

and I’ve been noticing the way I distract myself from beginning.

From sitting down to create.

I rearrange the items on my desk, I get sucked into research for a new edition of the Teeny Tremor, I write and rewrite and rewrite website copy, I fill my schedule, I make sure I stay busy, with ‘important’ things, with essential things, with things I need.

And the page stays empty, the watercolor dry, the art does not get made.

So I’ve decided to make a change.

To make more room for ALL of me, most importantly the part of me I used to deny with immediacy, the praise I deflect the fastest, the way of seeing and being in the world that’s been with me the longest, the part that is truer than all the rest when it comes to enacting my will upon the world.

The me, that is in artist.

I’ve moved to Portland, Oregon. Coming to this city felt a lot like biking out onto the Playa for the first time. Like coming home.

There are artists here. Making art for arts’ sake. Creating more beauty, truth and goodness and bringing it into the world.

And when I honestly look back over the course of my life, I’ve been steady making art all along.

I’ve been realizing so much of what I do as a coach, as a leadership facilitator, as a educator on intimacy and better relating, is an expression of my own creative process and is rooted in the creative process.

So I’m here to put my stake in the ground and stand for what I believe in, and let my work reflect that.

To say yes, art is essential, making not just consuming, leaning in to creative collaboration that can get us through crisis, creative solutions that help us think outside of the box, that the way of the sensitive feeler, big dreamer, the imaginative artist, is the way through.

That you are probably more creative than you give yourself credit for, or downright gaslight yourself about (like me)…

enough is ENOUGH!

It’s time to make again. Not just to dream, but to pull things forward, into reality.

To allow your ideas to come to be, before any guarantee they will be well received, so that you don’t get stuck in your fantasies.

Everything comes through the imagination before they are made real.

Wether it’s the dinner you make tonight, or the mural you put up tomorrow.

Art and artists are essential, and you getting in touch with your own creative power, wether you identify as an artist or not, is how you actualize the YOU, you want to be. By taking charge, and pushing things from the ideating stage, into being. Through practice, by revealing yourself to the world.

By taking a chance, and letting yourself be seen.

For now, I’m here to say, if there’s a part of you that wonders if your dreams are too big, if you secretly know exactly what you want and you’ve been too afraid to go for it?

Go for it 🧡

Most people when they’re close to the end, reflect they wish they’d spent more time doing what they love, and more time with the people they love more than anything else, less time worrying about what any of it looked like or what anyone else might think about it.

✅ If you’re interested in somatic coaching to support you getting unstuck and making real change that lasts, putting you on a path to build a life you love, you can schedule a FREE 45 min call here.

Once you are willing to face the truth, figure out what’s standing in the way of you offering your gifts, and find the sustainable way to move out of self doubt and reclaim your power, change is inevitable.

Hope to see you soon, and to see what you create

xx

Z

as always, thanks for being here!